Calum was invited to join a higher level soccer team. At this age group, the travel soccer league he is at combined three teams from three levels to two. In the tryout, he didn't make it to the higher team so he stayed with the lower one. He was disappointed but quickly regained his poise because his best friends were in the same team. I was very happy because I got to hang out with his friends’ parents who we like a lot.
So after we received the phone call last week asking Calum to tryout/practice with the premier team, we had been through ups and downs. We were happy and proud but at the same time, we didn’t really want to leave our friends and most importantly all, we didn’t want Calum to be unhappy.
After the tryout (with three other kids), he made it. The coach called us tonight and expressed his excitement and faith in Calum. Then we had our family meeting. Pete and I analyzed pros and cons for him. Calum sat down and sorted it through in his head. Pete and I discussed how we could make it work with carpooling and….my disappointment of leaving my friends as well.
It was a difficult decision.
In my heart, all I wanted was fun, socializing, and just hanging out with friends. I don’t know much soccer so these factors are very important to me.
To Calum, he wants all of these but he also wants to be better. He talks about playing in college soccer teams so we know this is good for him to advance.
As parents, what is our role? To ensure that our kids are happy but limits their opportunity or push them a little so they advance?
We let Calum sleep on it and make his decision tomorrow. We told him no matter what he decides, we will support him no matter what (even though it means having a game on a Tuesday night!).
Pete and I held our tongue and hope Calum makes a decision he won’t regard.
“What is this so hard? Why do I have to think so much? I cannot decide!!” Calum complained.
Calum, this is just a beginning of your grown-up life. We cannot always make the decisions for you. We cannot be responsible for what you choose. You are your own master and we as parents will support you along the way. We want you think. We want you to understand the consequences. We want you to make a decision that you will be proud and responsible of.
As parents, we learn as you grow. We pain as you go through these tough decisions. We are happy for you when you are proud of your decisions. And we are proud of you no matter what.
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