Charmin-Ultra: Don't Squeeze Me

明天就是我既理性又冷靜的兒子正式成為青少年的生日。生日快樂！

這小孩從在娘胎裡就超乎冷靜。懷孕中，我ㄧ點孕吐，不適，甚至假性陣痛都沒有。

It puzzled me that C will not like writing. 

I am a writer; well, inspired to be. 

Calum was invited to join a higher level soccer team. At this age group, the travel soccer league he is at combined three teams from three levels to two. In the tryout, he didn't make it to the higher team so he stayed with the lower one. He was disappointed but quickly regained his poise because his best friends were in the same team. I was very happy because I got to hang out with his friends’ parents who we like a lot.

So after we received the phone call last week asking Calum to tryout/practice with the premier team, we had been through ups and downs. We were happy and proud but at the same time, we didn’t really want to leave our friends and most importantly all, we didn’t want Calum to be unhappy.

Calum has been taking a babysitting training class. Of course he didn’t volunteer to take the class. Of course, it was a group of moms manipulating one to get another into the class. Yup. We evil moms. However, like Fortnightly (a social dance class), Calum did it because it was my wish to see my son dressing up in suit and tie and dance with girls in dress and white gloves. He did complain about dancing with girls, but in the end he started to like it (mainly about wearing tie). I believe he will have a story to tell when he is older. The point was not that he learned social etiquette but he was there with his buddies and they tried something new. Like I often joked, “I know you are all forced to do it but you can be miserable together.” The fun part was they were in together! 

So babysitting class. It was a good skill to have. Some of Calum’s friends have already doing some odd jobs during summer; taking care pet fish or taking in newspapers for neighbors when they are on vacation. As he and his friends are turning 12; the legal age to babysit, some of them start to think about babysitting not only to make money but also to show they don’t need to be babysat anymore. Unfortunately, Calum never has monetary incentive so money couldn’t make it take the class. It took four moms emailing each other back and forth for the whole week and made sure everyone signed up.

June 5, 2012. Calum finished 5th grade at Orrington. Orrington had a significant meaning to me and Claum. It was at this school, we started a life just two of us. I always remember what his kingtergargen teacher Ms. Johnson told me when I expressed my concern about Calum having been movning around and was expereince his parents getting a divorce. We had no friends in this town, Evanston at that time. The only reason we moved to this town was so it was closer to my school and work. Bebing a single mom, I couldn't afford stucking in traffic and worried about whehter I could pick him up from school in time.

Ms. Johnson told me. School was to provide what I could not at that time: Stability. It was nice for Calum to come back to a familiar environment, same teacher, and classmates while everything was going on. Without asking too much, she told me I was doing a great job and she would help me any way she could. Just like that, Orrington became a constant and familiar factor in Calum and my life. We made many friends at Orrington. Kids got along very well and parents enjoyed each other too! We were there to help teachers and we were there to help each other too. 

在生 Rosie 之前， Pete 跟我有點擔心 Calum 和 Boomer 對於家中新生兒的反應。

Calum 是因為 Rosie 會是他的 half sister，而 Calum 是我過去十年來唯一的心肝寶貝，現在他不僅要跟妹妹分享媽媽，連 Pete 這後來得到的好爸爸也要有自己的親生骨肉。尤其是大人忙著新生兒，我們很擔心 Calum 會忌妒妹妹。所以我們以妹妹的名義送了哥哥ㄧ本書。當我在醫院生完妹妹的時候， Calum 剛好有他第ㄧ次的足球季後賽，我們也堅持 Pete 要開ㄧ個小時車到場為他加油。

父母永遠有學不完的課程。
今天，愷仁讓我對於我和Pete 又更確定了我們的對小孩的教養方向。

This morning, as usual, was rush plus chaotic. Calum's project needed pictures, which we 'forgot' to do it last night after the band performance. Rosie wanted to join the activities and refused to sit by herself. Boomer, irritated by neighbor’s lighted dog status and roaming squirrels in the backyard, ran around the house and barked like crazy. I was shouting instructions for my mom about Rosie and Calum to take Boomer for a walk while getting dressed and ready to get out of house. My mom scolded me for making Calum take the dog out while he clearly enjoyed holding Rosie.

Chaos.

Since a couple months ago, Calum had started to plan for his 10th birthday party. He is one of the youngest kids in his grade, so when most of his friends turned 10, he felt like he was left behind. And being 10 is a very big deal for the boys this age. To me, turing 10 is a big deal too because after all, how many times one can add another digit to his/her birthday. 

Therefore, to celebrate Calum's first double-digit birthday party, Calum and I started to brainstorm ideas a couple months away. First, we decided on the theme and the guest invitations. Calum wanted a sleepover and invited 14 friends over including two girls. Then we discussed about the party planning and activities. 

A couple days ago, one of our adult pickup soccer team players commented how men don't talk about their personal life. His example was that he only learned about one of his baseketball teammate's last name after three years. I asked what they talked about then before or after their games. Nothing. He replied. We just play. We just don't talk about what we do outside of the baseketball court.

This morning, my son, being only almost 9 years old, showed the stereotype of men. He wanted me to buy the same jeans that one of his best friends wore because they were more comfortable. I suggested that he asked his friend where we could get the same jeans. He replied, "But that is weird to ask my friend about jeans. We are boys. Boys don't talk about stuff like that!"

我家兒子是個超害羞的小男生。很不喜歡別人把焦點放在他身上。我最近想盡辦法要他學ㄧ學如何當個小紳士。為此我還為他及他的朋友辦了一場 Secret Agent party (以後再寫）。

他不喜歡 dress up，也不喜歡梳頭髮。他最喜歡的頭髮樣式是像哈利波特的一頭亂髮。上次為了他頭髮長蝨子被我強迫剪三分頭, 他氣我氣到不跟我說話。連我結婚時，他也不肯穿西裝。皮鞋穿到典禮為止就又換回他最喜歡的布希鞋。

This morning, I rushed Calum and left the house 5 minutes earlier than usual because I had to be at a 9 am meeting. As usual, he took his time getting ready and complaining about how uncomfortable his snowpants were. After we got out the house, he kicked snow, picked up ice, and just wandering....strolling....

I almost had to push and drag him to hurry up. I also explained that I had to be at a meeting where the assistant provost came to meet everyone at the Center and how important it was for me to be in the office on time. 

From Random pictures

I started to teach Calum piano tonight. He actually has music ears and good pitch. What he lacks is patience. He didn't want to practice the scale but the song. He didn't care about the process but the product. I taught children piano lessons before, but never imagined how difficult it is to teach my own child piano. I had to combine discipline with incentive in the short 30 minutes. I promised if he could practice the scale for 15 minutes I would teach him a song. It worked. In fact, when he could play a song, though with not perfect tempo and finger posture, it was a beautiful song. He was so proud of himself, and I am happy too.

I reminded Calum that I was going to San Francisco this week.
He replied, "Mom, have fun but be careful with earthquake".

Calum is waiting for Mei Mei by the window.
Sounds ridiculous, but it reminded me a wife waiting for a husband coming home from a long trip.

When are you coming?

Dear Calum:Today was my last day in Taiwan and I was trying to spend as much time with youas possible. But I know I have to say good bye after all. I have to learn to let go. I think it is the hardest thing for me. I never imagined this before. I mean I never understood why parents always couldn't let their children go before. Now I am a mother and have to make this decision. And I understand now.I was a bit agitated tonight because I was anxious about the new life ahead of me and also sad about leaving you in Taiwan. So we had a little clash. Then you and I talked about my leaving again. We both cried. That was good. Baby I know I have told you over and over again to be brave. But it is OK to cry; to express your true feelings to ones who love you and whom you love. We hugged each other and I told you your favorite story (The little red riddinghood) and sang you the theme song from Doramo. You finally fell asleep holdling my arm close to your heart. I feltyour heartbeats from excitedly beating to finally calming down. I kissed your hair and face, then I came here to write you this diary.There are 16 hours before I leave. I still have something to take care of. I will turn in pretty soon and sleep with my baby one for the last night. Grandma told me that you talked to Daddy tonight. I hope you enjoyed it. I am very tired now. So I will keep this diary short. Love, Mommy